I think in looking back, the majority of “real” children have always been disgusting to me, and my want I’d never act on was mainly based around anime like characters, which is possibly why referring to little girls as lolis stuck so easily with me. So the way I am, seeing things as a video game or anime, fantasies always had animated designs, but since I think like that all the time I never really noticed, even while noting how gross and deformed most children actually seem in this plane of reality.
Now that I’m not a lolicon anymore, real children still disgust me, but now lolicon has this extremely unpleasant association with real children who are repulsive to me, and so the false idea people have of “me=lolicon” disgusts me for that reason. If not for the association, I’d be neutral towards lolicon, but now it makes me a little sick if I ever see it.
I should clarify that I still don’t believe being a lolicon or pedophile is inherently bad unless acted on. The source of my discomfort is something that grosses me out, personally.